Posted by: whatkindofweekhasitbeen | March 31, 2010

25th October, 2009

So, with my recent attempts at writing in any serious capacity of late having lasted as long as an Audley Harrison fight or an Italian Government, and the fact that I treat Facebook as a kind of well-tended and manicured cyber garden, I figured I’d try something.

Using Facebook as my column inches/disciplinary tactic, I thought I’d try and start an ongoing feature of sorts: a weekly piece overviewing the events of the past seven days. And in you, the across-signed, I’ve identified people who might be interested in reading it. Apologies for the Reader’s Digest tactics, I just loves an audience, and I hope you like what I’m putting on. But now, down to business.

It was truly a great week to be a victim. First up, that most maligned minority: drinkers. The Irish transport minister’s apparently outrageous suggestion that driving with alcohol in our bodies was met with consternation by oul’ boys who drive their tractors to mass and have more acres than sense, but Noel Dempsey’s plan to reduce the blood alcohol limit from 80 mg to 50 mg had it’s loudest opponents from a few yards behind him: Fianna Fáil backbenchers. With these rural TD’s relying largely on the votes of elderly inebriated men for their re-election, they were visibly and audibly appalled; one TD claiming it would be “a killer blow to rural communities”. In fairness, considering the ritual whacking his own party have given rural communities over the years, a killer blow could involve a feather duster and still be effective.

If outrage was simmering in Ireland, it was boiling over across the pond. Oh, to have been a fly on the wall in BBC’s Television Centre this Thursday. Granted, I start most of my sentences expressing a desire to be near TVC, but this week more so. For this was the week the British National Party would use their Demon Headmaster-esque mind control techniques to enslave the Question Time-viewing nation. Or, you know, not.

As a bit of an amateur election enthusiast, I struggle to think of any party or any candidate therein that has ever upped their vote share by grinning and clapping in a feeble attempt to mollify Bonnie Greer, or by using the phrase “since the ice age melted” in a policy document. All the same, the moral indignation of those who seem to hope that if we ignore the BNP they’ll eventually un-win all those council, London Assembly and European Parliament seats they have was palpable. Their heavy-handed, intimidating protests at TVC for example proved to be a welcome shot of mind insulin for my previously low blood-irony levels, if little else.

And speaking of fruitless campaigns, my own dreams of former Irish President Mary Robinson becoming President of the EU Council went up in flames this week, as she’s instead focusing on helping third world countries deal with climate change. Selfish cow. Of course, this now presumably means that somebody else will have to beat Tony Blair to the Presidential punch, though that’s a job that should have more than a few willing candidates. Ahem.

But the final word in public rage this week has to go to those turbo-tossers par excellence, X-Factor’s John and Edward. Considering all that was going on this week, the fact they managed to maintain such a key place in our respective bile ducts is quite an achievement. Hell, I’d rather sit through a series of “Britain’s Got Rabies” than watch X-Factor, and even I want rid of them. Then again, considering the antagonising protagonists of the week, it’s a case of all of the above.

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