Posted by: whatkindofweekhasitbeen | July 27, 2012

Olympic & Mix: Opening Ceremony Live Blog Special

12:40am – Well that was awesome. And now, as Paul McCartney plays us out, I shall bid thee good night. Don’t let those bogeymen from earlier interrupt your sleep too much.

12:30am – Now would not be a time for sweaty palms.

12:27am – Here comes the torch! Ali not lighting it this time, but he’s still The Greatest. Meanwhile, David Beckham’s life is just one big episode of Miami Vice.

12:12am – In other news, a Tory MP made a real prat of himself tonight.

12:04am – How nice, a Beatles song with Wings.

11:58pm – And now we’re finished, with So Sold Crew / Team GB coming out. Meanwhile, The Queen and Prince Philip cannot give two solid fucks.

11:37pm – Camilla Parker Bowles’ WTF face is amazing.

11:28pm – Puerto Rico came out wearing all white, including hats. They looked like they were extras from Smooth Criminal, but it totally worked for them.

11:25pm – Great to see Palestine out there, taking pride of place. And to Mr Bluesky no less!

11:20pm – Man, seeing all these South Pacific teams really make me want to go there. Is there an open-top bus tour that do that kind of thing?

11:16pm – The Mexican team’s costume designer is presumably Jorge Campos.

11:12pm – This sure is taking a long time.

11:06pm – And here comes The Bolt! Wearing a flag holster though, the big pussy.

11:03pm – I now pledge allegiance to the proud nation of Independent Athletes.

10:59pm – Guinea-Bissau is so-called because it is located to the, eh, Bissau of Guinea?

10:54pm – Heh, Fiji’s walking on to The Bee Gees.

10:52pm –  Estonia looks like they’ve come from the future.

10:43pm – I can’t wait til Smack My Bitch Up is used as walking out music.

10:38pm – Cameroon: wearing wicked local costume. Canada: wearing awful Hollister stuff.

10:29pm – This whole element of the ceremony combines by two great loves: flags and walking.

10:19pm – Emili Sande there, extracting all your goosebumps by force.

10:12pm – And now it’s time for the flame. David Beckham has mad boating skills.

10:04pm – Reckon they’re getting it on in real life?

9:59pm – All the British classics here: Led Zep, The Kinks, The Beatles. Mud.

9:54pm – They better include Desmond’s in their TV montage.

9:50pm – Tonight, the Chariot of Fire is a yellow mini. Brilliant.

9:44pm – How are those kids supposed to get a good night’s sleep with blankets like that?

9:40pm Well this is terrifying. Sleep well kids!

9:35pm –  And here comes the dancing!

9:32pm – Obviously, Bond didn’t survive that parachute.

9:27pm – It took The Queen 17 takes to do that line, I bet.

9:25pm – Somehow, VT’s like this seem lacking without Terry Wogan being a smart alec over them.

9:22pm – Ken Brannagh’s character is awful bloody proud of himself, isn’t he?

9:18pm – London may run out of razors tonight, with all the actors pleased to finally have off their mutton chops.

9:12pm – “And now, the Industrial Revolution…THROUGH THE MEDIUM OF DANCE!”

9:10pm – This is just one big prog rock concert, this.

9:08pm – Danny Boyle including subliminal messages for rugby union to be an Olympic Sport by the looks of it.

9:05pm – Jesus, no pressure young fella.

9:03pm – Two balloons didn’t explode! The whole thing is ruined!

9:02pm – I bet all this was filmed by putting a camera on a duck.

8:59pm This is a very cool countdown. Ayeeeee!

8:57pm – All the orchestra people are wearing converse. Boyle, you renegade!

8:52pm – Andrew Marr: what a boss.

8:44pm – I presume this whole background is a loving tribute to Geoff Hamilton.

8:42pm – Those poor women have won three silvers in a row. That would really have to fuck you off.

8:39pm – BBC Three will be showing live coverage from 1am til 11pm. Those two hours in between will be HELL.

8:31pm – Paddy Power are taking bets on whether the Olympic Village will run out of condoms. Seriously.

8:26pm – Amir Khan’s watch had a patently unnecessary amount of jewels.

8:23pm – The chocolate and crisps spread here in the house is officially out. There are red, white and blue M&M’s, very confusing. Chocolate shouldn’t look like mints!

8:15pm – Pfft, The Red Arrows. That British Airways ad was way better.

8:11pm – Those fake clouds going past reminds me of the time I played a storm cloud in a school play. Feel a bit annoyed I wasn’t asked to reprise.

8:06pm – The GB track and field team are going to be in Portugal watching the opening ceremony. Suppose falling foul of shire horse effluence would be hard to explain.

7:58pm – Fanny Blankers-Koen won an Olympic medal while pregnant? And we were impressed that Usain Bolt won a medal on chicken nuggets.

7:53pm – Has Peter Jackson anything to do with this ceremony too? Because The Hobbit Village is looking well.

7:48pm – My prediction for the massive British name to be final torch-bearer tonight: Roger Bannister. Either that, or Great Uncle Bulgaria.

7:45pm – Here we go! Settling down to a good night’s watching. I’ve bought a good bit of sweeties in, because nothing says paying tribute to athletic achievement than chocolate buttons and fruitella.

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